Stay Brave
Stay brave: this is my 2022 mantra. What do these words mean to me today? To move my body and dare to accept her just as she is.
This is not automatic or easy for me right now. I have been eating more and moving less during the holiday season, especially during the last week and a half of my kids’ holiday break. I have woken with a sugar hangover on more than one occasion. My routine has gone out the window and cabin fever is raging in my household (which I’ll take over Covid, but still).
So, as I clipped into my bike today, it was with an intention to practice acceptance - because I knew that if I were not mindful, my inner critic would go wild.
I challenged myself to accept my thighs hitting my belly with every upward pedal stroke.
I dared myself to accept the waistband of my leggings rolling down instead of staying in place.
I encouraged myself to accept my puffier-than-usual face reflected in my bike’s screen.
Staying brave today meant doing all of these things.
Staying brave means meeting myself exactly where I am: on day 21 of my cycle, deep into my luteal phase, managing to keep my PMDD mostly at bay, eating all the carbs, and sleeping through my usual early workout time for the last several days.
Staying brave means choosing acceptance over criticism. It means choosing self-trust (“of course you will regain your fitness and start eating more intuitively”) over self-doubt (“you will never be as fit as you were pre-pandemic and you’ll never succeed at intuitive eating”).
What happened during my ride, during this practice?
Gratitude rose to the surface of my emotions and dominated my internal monologue (yahoo!). I felt grateful to be able to move my body. I felt grateful to me for taking time for me. I felt grateful for the opportunity to practice. Because practice means progress and progress means moving further into contented imperfection.
A reminder to me and to you in case you need it today: we can choose to shut the door on negative self-talk. We can choose to use our precious brain space for thoughts that are nourishing instead of depleting. We get to write and recite the script of our internal monologue. So feel free to give the boot to any other voices clamoring for center stage. This is a one-woman show.
